My Favorite Book...CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL

I have the book Chicken Soup for the Soul for years now. When I first read the book, I cried....I keep it in my office since that's where I am most of the time. I read it over and over because it inspires me. Its a collection of stories mostly about goodness of people. It is a compilation of people's experiences which can really melt your heart. I usually read it when I'm down, when I'm burned out or when I'm having my blues. Because after I finished reading, I always feel like there's hope for us after all. And it shows that with GOODNESS you can never go wrong. Its like the books gives me hope that whatever I am going through, I will get past it. Like the people's experiences in the book.

I highly recommend Chicken Soup for the Soul

THE GREATEST ADVICE

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior. Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better. Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder. Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate.!
Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back. Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right. Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won.
Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be. Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons. Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family. Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you are not ready. Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU.
It is true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life
that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest
gift you can give someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort,
and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not
what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of
ourselves.-Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Men's Side

Men's Rules
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are their rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up and you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Why go to church???

Why Go To Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained
that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday.

"I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote,

"and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the
life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting
my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much
to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this
clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some
32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a
single one of those meals. But I do know this... They all nourished me and
gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me
these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone
to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"

When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something. Faith sees the
invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible. Thank God
for our physical and our spiritual nourishment.

All right... now that you're done reading.... send it on. I think everyone
should read this!. When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus,
could you get that for me?!"

Marriage.....

Marriage - Part I
>
> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
>
> and after the wedding, he laid down the following
>
> rules:
>
> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
>
> time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
>
> expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell
>
> you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
>
> fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with
>
> my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about
>
> it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
>
> His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
>
> understand that there will be sex here at seven
>
> o'clock every night ........ whether you're here or
>
> not."
>
> (DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
>
>
>
> ************************************
>
> Marriage (Part II)
>
> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
>
> their 40th wedding anniversary!
>
> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
>
> headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold AsEver "
>
> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you
>
> a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
>
> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
>
>
>
> ******************************
>
> Marriage (Part III)
>
>
>
> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight
>
> at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and
>
> says, "And you are no good in bed either," and
>
> storms out of the house.
>
> After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides
>
> to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
>
> phone after many rings,and the irritated husband
>
> says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
>
> She says, "I was in bed."
>
> "In bed this early, doing what?"
>
> "Getting a second opinion!"
>
> (YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
> Marriage (Part IV)
>
> A man! has six children and is very proud of his
>
> achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he
>
> starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of
>
> her objections. One night, they go to a party. The
>
> man decides that it's time to go home and wants to
>
> find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
>
> shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home
>
> 'Mother of Six?'
>
> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
>
> discretion,shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready,
>
> Father of Four."
>
>
>
> (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
>
>
>
> **************************************
>
> Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
>
>
>
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home
>
> and were giving each other the silent treatment.
>
> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he
>
> would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
>
> morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first
>
> to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
>
> of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 A! M." He left it
>
> where he knew she would find it.
>
> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it
>
> was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious,
>
> he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened
>
> him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
>
> The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
>
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
>
> God may have created man before woman, but there is
>
> always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Joke time

Sexual Nightmares
CAUTION: THE INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN MAY OFFEND
> YOUR SENSIBILITIES.
>
> Sexual Nightmares....
>
> NIGHTMARE #1
> After a long night of making love, the young guy
> rolled over, pulled out a
> cigarette from his jeans and searched for his
> lighter. Unable to find it, he
> asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might
> be some matches in the
> top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of
> the bedside table and
> found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a
> framed picture of another
> man. naturally, the guy began
> to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired
> nervously. "No, silly," she
> replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?"
> he asked. "No, not at
> all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who
> is he then?" demanded
> the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied,
> "That's me before the
> operation."
>
> NIGHTMARE #2
> The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so
> he was trying to think
> ofa way to rekindle it. One night he came from work,
> and found his wife
> asleep
> in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?"
> "Oh-I know." He proceeded
> to get under the covers and go down on his wife.
> Soon she began to gently
> squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes,
> her body spasmed with
> ecstasy as she climaxed.
> Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to
> brush his teeth. When
> he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife
> there shaving her legs.
> He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She
> said, "Shhhh!," pointing
> at the bed, "You'll wake your mother"
>
> NIGHTMARE #3
> One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they
> are about to kiss each
> other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts
> feeling a little horny.
> With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand
> against the wall and
> smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a
> blow job?" Horrified,
> she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
> "O h come on! Who's
> gonna
> see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No,
> please. Can you imagine
> if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody
> around, they're all
> sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh
> please, please, I love you so
> much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just
> can't!" "Oh yes you
> can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the
> stairs goes on, and the
> girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair
> disheveled, and in a sleepy
> voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a
> blow job, or I can do
> it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down
> herself and do it But for
> God's sake tell him to take his hand off the
> intercom!"

Let's laugh a little..................hahahha