Marriage - Part I
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> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
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> and after the wedding, he laid down the following
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> rules:
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> "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
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> time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
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> expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell
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> you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
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> fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with
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> my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about
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> it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
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> His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
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> understand that there will be sex here at seven
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> o'clock every night ........ whether you're here or
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> not."
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> (DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
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>
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> ************************************
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> Marriage (Part II)
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> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
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> their 40th wedding anniversary!
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> The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
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> headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold AsEver "
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> "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you
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> a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
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> (HE ASKED FOR IT!)
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>
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> ******************************
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> Marriage (Part III)
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> Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight
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> at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and
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> says, "And you are no good in bed either," and
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> storms out of the house.
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> After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides
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> to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
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> phone after many rings,and the irritated husband
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> says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"
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> She says, "I was in bed."
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> "In bed this early, doing what?"
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> "Getting a second opinion!"
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> (YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
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>
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> ******************************************
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> Marriage (Part IV)
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> A man! has six children and is very proud of his
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> achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he
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> starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of
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> her objections. One night, they go to a party. The
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> man decides that it's time to go home and wants to
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> find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
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> shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home
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> 'Mother of Six?'
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> His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
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> discretion,shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready,
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> Father of Four."
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> (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
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>
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> **************************************
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> Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment
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>
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> A man and his wife were having some problems at home
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> and were giving each other the silent treatment.
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> Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he
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> would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
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> morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first
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> to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
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> of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 A! M." He left it
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> where he knew she would find it.
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> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it
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> was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious,
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> he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened
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> him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
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> The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
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> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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> God may have created man before woman, but there is
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> always a rough draft before the masterpiece.